The Adventures of a Bipolar Teen Queen

Let's talk about S-E-X

Like it or not, the urge to have lots of sex is a big part of being bipolar. In books, they like to list the symptom as "sexual promiscuity" but if you ask me, that is just ROOD. You and I like to pretend that we live in a world where we can have casual, meaningless sex with whoever we want, never lose the respect of others and never feel bad about ourselves because we are sexually liberated women!!! Sometimes, when I'm manic, I really believe that to be true. Bad news girls: this is a lie we tell ourselves so that we can justify our urge to indulge in the rush or "high" of sex.

 Enter Manic Me: I'm home alone on a Friday night. My thoughts are racing and I feel like going out and finding some trouble to get into. I put on my make up, squeeze into something sexy, stumble into my heels and head out the door. Fast forward to 1 am. I've either lost or ditched my friends, my head is spinning from just a little too much sauce and my heart is pounding from adrenaline, my manic brain, and possibly some No No Powder. I see a guy I think is hot, snap my fingers and POOF we're talking, we're making out, we're leaving, were entering an apartment and I have no idea where I am. One thing leads to another and suddenly I'm wide awake with alcohol-induced anxiety hours later. It's dark with the shades pulled down, he's sleeping, I think "Run Run Run." Now I'm lighting up a cigarette and speed walking to the subway, blinking in the daylight. I barely remember. I didn't give him my number because I don't care if he calls me. Don't care if he liked me. Don't care if I ever see him again. "I won," i think to myself, as if sex is a casual game played between two strangers. I tell myself that I am powerful, that men are just saps that I can manipulate. But guess who's finally home, mascara strewn face throwing up into the toilet? Miss "Ladies is Pimps Too."

Promise me you won't be this girl. Real power is feeling good about yourself for the RIGHT reasons, not because you can get some dirty skeeze to take you home. Let's face it, guys are pretty gross and they aren't out at the bar looking for their future wife. Whether you're in high school, college, whatever. People will talk about you. Boys won't respect you. Girls won't want to be friends with you. "But I have an overactive sex drive! I'm like a guy!" Shut up, I don't want to hear it. Go buy yourself a vibrator. Trust me, you'll never be staring at your phone wondering if your vibrator is ever going to text you after the great time you had. Unless you got one of those really expensive ones...

Your horny pal,

QB